SORRY:HOW EFFECTIVE IS IT?

This past week has been from one high to another low, and I often found myself in situations in which I had to forgive someone.

Hurt is a part of our human existence. You simply cannot go through this process of life unscathed. You might have hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally, or someone might have done the same to you.

In the same way, we have the option to forgive or not. I say OPTION because unlike any other state of mind, forgiveness is a process. It is a conscious effort which typically brings one out of their comfort zone.

architecture, boulder, city

There is a school of thought who believes that forgiveness comes instantly with the magic word ‘sorry’. Believing that whatever hurt you’ve been subjected to automatically disappears when you’re told  sorry. I am not totally diminishing the value of ‘sorry’, but how effective is it really?

As with everything in life, there are different kinds of people. For some ‘sorry’ really is a magic word, as that might be the only thing they might need. They do not look at any other factor except that you have shown remorse for your wrong action.

Others people need more than just ‘sorry’. They depend on other factors to help them process the fact that you have said the magic word to them. These people look at everything from your facial expression as you said sorry to the twitch in your eye.

Some don’t really need to hear you say sorry or  consider other factors, they just need time to process your action and  make a decision. They heal on their own.

However, as I went through this week I have come to discover that sorry is most effective when you inwardly want to salvage the existing relationship. If not, just like an unfinished house it will remain the same.

abandoned, architecture, building

Saying you’re sorry is not the magic word, as there is unfortunately no prescribed method of forgiving someone. It is a process, and therefore it takes time. The best thing that ‘sorry’ does is start the ball rolling towards the path of forgiveness, and not forgiveness it self. Just saying sorry is like planting a flower, but never watering it. The chances of its survival is slim.

Do not intentionally hurt people and bank on saying sorry to them. Sorry is only as effective as the hurt party allows it to be.

Have a great week lovelies 🙂

xoxo

 

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41 thoughts on “SORRY:HOW EFFECTIVE IS IT?

  1. I always say it’s better avoid telling me you’re sorry by being considerate as people just throw “sorry” at you. Good thoughts Yati. Good thoughts

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a a great and insightful post. We use the word “Sorry” all to often and far too easily expecting positive results in return. Life isn’t like that and as you say forgiveness is a process ..and sorry is just the beginning of that…..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree, there is so much more to an apology than just the words I’m sorry. For me a lot also depends on the depth of feeling behind the words, it can be a gesture or an expression of heartfelt regret. It’s easier to forgive a heartfelt apology.

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  4. Really worth reading Yatie, saying sorry sometimes does not undo the wrong . It’s nice at times sorry goes with remorse and equals to forgiveness .

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  5. Nice post, I agree with this statement “Saying you’re sorry is not the magic word, as there is unfortunately no prescribed method of forgiving someone. It is a process, and therefore it takes time.”
    It does take time, sometimes we even feel we’ve forgiven someone because we said “sorry”, but deep down we havent yet, it’s important to give yourself time.

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  6. Very true. I think saying sorry and really meaning it can be beneficial for both involved. But, things really need to be resolved for it to work. A nice closer.

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  7. Your so right , saying sorry doesn’t always solve the problem. For me I usually need more than a sorry to make me feel better, if someone can prove to me that they are really sorry and not just saying sorry for the sake of it then I can forget and move on x

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  8. I love this, and I agree completely. I think it’s very easy for people to say sorry and not mean it too, in the same way it’s easy for people to accept an apology but not really forgive.

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  9. I totally agreed. There was a time I did an aunt of mine wrong, I had actually not talked to her for a while but I needed something urgently from her, so I sent her a message, she was really pissed off saying I only talked to her when I needed something. That broke my heart, I realised immediately that she was right. I apologized. She didn’t even say a word, she was really pissed! But then understanding that saying sorry was just the start of the actual “reconciliation”, boy I tormented her with messages, messages from real quilt this time, even forgetting what I wanted to ask her. Believe it or not, after about two weeks of consistent massaging, she decided to say “hello” I smiled.
    So that’s how it really works fam! Sorry doesn’t just sweep it all under the carpet, if you really mean the sorry you say, you’ll not be satisfied until you see that it has really been accepted by the person.
    Nice piece darling!

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  10. I could not have said it better myself. I think sorry is not something that you say to fix things, rather to jumpstart what you want to do to fix something. It also depends on the person you’re saying sorry to.

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  11. We can say sorry all we want to the person that we hurt but that’s not going to be enough. It’s always about what we’re going to do next after that apology. There are times though, that we really have to let a person heal first before we even start asking for forgiveness.

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  12. Beautiful post! There are certain mistakes or fault when the word ‘sorry’ is enough, but when the mistake involves trust I think sorry isn’t enough. Forgive in other word doesn’t mean we forget about the thing that hurt us but finding the peace within the pain we carry is important in order to forgive.

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  13. Sorry is such an interesting word. It doesn’t really fix all of the things in our lives, even if we want it to. The truth is you are right. Unless the person is truly interested in fixing the relationship and doesn’t do the things necessary to change things, there is nothing that is helped by the word. It’s like any other word. If you don’t mean it, then your word is worthless.

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  14. I totally agree. Sorry is a bandaid but if the wound is big enough, a bandaid isn’t going to do anything. We need to back up out sorry’s with action.

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  15. Great thoughts. i totally agree with what you are saying. The bad thing is that a person that has been hurt even unintentionally can simply not forget and by default it can not forgive as well.

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  16. For me .. it’s words followed by actions. If someone says they’re sorry .. it always takes a while for them to demonstrate it with actions too before I really and truly believe them x

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  17. I really liked this and I totally agree. My friends and I have an agreement that if ever hurtful words are exchanged between us, they should only say sorry if they truly are apologetic and I’ll do the same. And we give each other time.​ It’s worked so far.

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