So, déjá vu has been a word that has always fascinated me. I first encountered this word, when I was young and words fascinated me. I used to try as hard as possible to use my new vocabulary as I speak, so I sound somehow intelligent. Sadly, déjá vu was a word I could not actually use properly just because it didn’t describe an object or a particular thing that I had previously experienced.
Déjá vu literally means something you’ve already seen or a feeling you’ve already experienced. This I always expected would in some way give you an edge, or a clearer understanding of the ‘familiar’ feeling. So when I find yourself wrapped up in that familiar situation I could at least know how to maneuver my way past it.
Boy was I wrong!!
And to even admit this makes me cringe in some way, as I usually describe myself as an intuitive person.
Four years ago, I met this nice person. You know that one person who always smiles, always cheerful, ready to help, always is careful, more concerned about others than themselves, always the mediator, humble, always looking for sympathy from others, always friendly with everyone, but actually they are just hypocrites. They in actual life do not give one ounce of care about you, they just want you to feel like they do.
And these I feel are the worst. The absolute worst because, as humans we usually tend to be attracted to someone we feel we can rely on. As our brains are naturally lazy, it becomes easy to trust someone who seems nice and honest and caring.
Don’t fall into that trap easily. Just don’t do it. Someone told me recently that as human beings our worst enemy, and the person didn’t lie. I actually met someone like this four years ago, and two years into the ‘friendship’ I discovered that it was all a farce. So I did what most humans would do and internalized it and like literally warned myself to stay clear away from those kinds of people. Just because it distorts the balance and already formed categories in my brain. And that in itself brings a lot of stress and problems that can easily be avoided.
So, when this month I met another person who fits this description, and finally experienced déjá vu, my brain said to me ‘AHA!’. Please be careful so you don’t fall for this same crap again.
Guess what I did?
Yup you guessed right…..I fell right into the pit head first.
I met another person, same character, same situation and I still had to go through the familiar feeling of betrayal, and that people are just not worth it, until it spiraled into me thinking that I probably just have bad luck or I attract the wrong kinds of person.
I was wallowing in this feeling this entire week, until I snapped back yesterday. I don’t have to feel bad about myself if people turn out to be something other than the original picture they had portrayed earlier. In fact, that is perfectly okay.
If someone wants to be petty, let them. If they want to be childish, let them. If they want to be hypocrites, just let them. I mean everyone should be accountable for his or her self, and not blame anyone for their lack in character.
The only thing I believe you are responsible for is respect. Respect is the only thing you owe them. Respect their personalities, as well as their difference. Respect their wishes and desires, and if they choose to be disrespectful to you, just peacefully leave them be. Peacefully. I emphasize on the word ‘peacefully’ because trust me, if you confront someone about their weakness, they usually deny it and become defensive, which eventually doesn’t take you anywhere.
My mom always tells me to live peaceably with everyone, as I can tend to be a firecracker.
One thing I have learnt the hard way, is that though you might have experienced something before good or bad; doesn’t mean you are prepared for it. If you fail again though, doesn’t mean you are a bad judge of character it just shows how wonderful and trusting you are as a person. It shows that you are unique and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for this.
Until then, have a wonderful week lovelies.